So drunk its hurt
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
