i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Randomize
