I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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