So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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