Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
