I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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