I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Randomize
