Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
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