Grow some girl-balls and come out already
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
