She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Randomize
