It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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