One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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