just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize
