My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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