My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Randomize
