I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
