We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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