You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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