it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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