Reggie can tackle my bush.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
