I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
