remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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