I've blown a few things in my day
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
