Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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