tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
