You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
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