btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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