The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
MIDGETS
????
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
