I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
