Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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