im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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