have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize