I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
