Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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