Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
