Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
she woke up with a sticky ear
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
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