Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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