Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Randomize
