I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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