is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
