ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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