Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
