i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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