You made me cry and you don't even care
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
