he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
