quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Randomize
