go do what you do best...puke behind churches
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Even my vagina gasped.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize