its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
