Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
