and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
