halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Why is there bacon in the couch?
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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