i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I forgot how hot balto sounded
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
