I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Randomize
