Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
