k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
