he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
