I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
