"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
