They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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