it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Randomize
