what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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