I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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