i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize