I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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