Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
