the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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