Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
