Me too!
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
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