you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
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