We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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