so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
