chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
